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[ Quotes | Seasons One & Two | Season Three ]


'Even a starving camel is still bigger than a horse.' (1:1)

'The eunuch should not take pride in his chastity.' (1:1)

'When what is indestructible meets what is irresistable, the female all too often wins.' (1:4)

'The wicked go to hells, the good go to heavens and the pure neither live nor even die, but those hit on the head tend to fall unconscious.' (1:8)

'With the charity of ignorant people towards the different and helpless they stuck Monkey in a cage. He entertained them willy nilly and free entertainment is not to be despised.' (1:8)

'Pigsy is a long way from the enlightenment which transcends humanity. He is a long way too from the bottom of the cliff down which he is about to fall.' (2:7)

'A white horse is most easily lost in a snowstorm.'

'The Great Chinese Sage Lao Tzu said that words that are beautiful are seldom true.' (1:7)

'It is the beginning of wisdom to say I don't know.' (1:7)


'Please excuse me when I say that you really are extraordinarily dim!' (1:10)

'Alright! Let battle commence! Wine and... bananas! Bring on the dancing girls!' (2:12)

'They'll be sorry. They'll be sorry if I die - except that I can't. Whatever you do it ends up raining. What's it all for? What's the point of it all? And if it hasn't got a point, what's the point of that?' (2:2)

Monkey: 'And where shall I find him, this King Youth?'
Earth God: 'He has a huge semi-detached palace at Black Pine Ridge.' (1:5)

To King Youth: 'The fact is we are kings ourselves. You could say that we two kings of Orient are. But joking set aside....' (1:5)

'You can't convince a deaf man by talking'


Monkey: 'And even if we get the scriptures what good are they when the pig's completely and utterly illiterate?'
Pigsy: 'You said I was illegitimate. You've got to remember that some of us aren't just walking statues!'

Pigsy: 'Say something really insulting.'
Monkey: 'Okay... Pig!'


'Now where's that spell against amphibious apes?' (1:2)

Sandy: 'Let's go to the inn.'
Monkey's Double: 'I'm already in, let's go out!' (3:13)

Sandy: 'You can always chop us up into pieces later.'
Pigsy: 'Much later!' (1:10)


Tripitaka: 'You should live without fear. There's as much chance of good things as bad things.'
Sandy: 'It's a cheerful philosophy and I've heard it from people before. They're all dead now though.' (1:4)


'No use sending an angry ape after a perished pig.' (1:7)

Quotes compiled by Clare O'Farrell, many thanks.
Also thanks to Chris Hadgis for his summaries.

Monkey ©NTV/KHK 1979/81.
This web page by Matt Sephton.